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Sunday 20 July 2003 - "God's will for young people" - engagement of Martin vd Merwe & Lize Haupt

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(Summary of sermon by Peet Botha)

1Tim 4:12; 1Thes 4:3 & 4; Gen 24

The Bible is clear when it comes to sexual purity between young people. Timothy had to be an example as a young person to the church - also in purity. Paul writes to the Thessalonians that they as Christians ought to know how to obtain their wife in sanctification and honour.

In Gen 24 we find a Biblical example of God's will for His children. Let us look at 6 points of similarity between Abraham's decision to obtain a wife for his son, Isaac, and in the engagement today. Throughout the years we see that God's Spirit reveals the same mysteries to them as to us today.

1) In Gen 24:6, when the servant objected that the wife might not be willing to follow him, Abraham's response was that he lived in God's presence who will guide the way. All his household knew this - it was something known commonly, and Abraham could mention it openly. So too, this is the first requirement - each one must know, before taking any other decision in life that God is at the head of his/her life. You ought to know that you live in God's presence and live close to Him. Abraham heard God's voice at first in Ur of the Chaldees, and obeyed God and walked with God since. He knew that he could trust this God to lead him to obtain a wife for his son Isaac. He knew that Isaac need not flirt and have relationships before marriage with the girls of Canaan, because Isaac lived close to God too. Abraham knew that he could trust God to provide a wife for his son and that God's blessing will rest on that marriage. Abraham chose this servant because this servant knew God too. Abraham's servant did not know where to find the wife, but he knew that he knew God too and could trust Him to lead and guide him. So he prayed to God to lead him at the fountain, and while he was praying, Rebekah came to the fountain. And God testified that this was indeed the one He has chosen. It was not Abraham's, Isaac's or the servant's choice, but God's choice.
This highlights that we must change the emphasis from man's will to God's will. Later on even the father and brother of Rebekah acknowledges that what occurred was from the Lord. They did not even know the man, but God's Spirit was working and these people experienced His Spirit's working too.
In verse 58, Rebekah is asked if she would go with this man. She heard the testimony of him, saw the camels and presents. She did not know Isaac, has never been with him or seen him. She had to get God's guidance in the matter. She must have wondered what life will be like with this unknown man, but there was one thing that gave true comfort and assurance - Abraham's testimony that he lived close to God. Such a father must have raised a responsible and God-fearing son. God's presence and will in the matter gave her true hope and assurance of the future.
The Bible's summary of their wedding in verse 57 is interesting - She was his wife and he loved her. The love came after the wedding.
In the world it's upside-down - first the love and flirting and living together, and later on they want to add God. No! God must be first and the rest will be added.

Here we see the difference clearly between God's standard and the world's standard. Let's examine the two standards and see the excellency of God's standard.
Today in the world it is either the young man or lady who takes the initiative to marry. With God, He takes the initiative to lead the young man to marry his wife. God leads and guides and not beauty or favour, but His will only.
2) In the world, there's a period when the young people get to 'know' each other. But surely it is fatal, for with all the 'knowing', 2/3 of marriages end on the rocks! Some churches today favour 'living together', fearing that their youth's marriages will end on the rocks. However, in God's light it is still sin to live together without being married.
3) God's standard is not a time to 'get to know each other', but a time of 'waiting upon God' - hearing his voice and guidance in the matter. In the world physical contact is essential, but God's word makes it clear that there should be no physical contact before marriage.
4) For the world, flirting, kissing, and living together is the norm. In the church many young people ask their leaders how far they are allowed to go in their relationships. Not once do they prohibit all physical contact. God's standard is sexual purity. The question of how far you may go is not even an option. Total sexual purity is the standard.
5) In the world, the Christian rituals of marriage is simply a 'cover-up' to cover the sins of the relationships. It is simply to give it a Christian cloak. But in God's standard, marriage and the marriage vows are vows before God to be taken seriously and keep till death.
In Magaliesburg young people asked me to marry them. My standard answer is 'No', for I do not know them, their relationship to God and their lives. Marriage is holy and ought to be entered into before God in His will.
6) In the world they marry in any venue and there's no seriousness with God or the saints. Everything revolves around the couple for everyone to see. However, in God's standard, there's seriousness with respect to God and his saints. He remains the center of attraction and the reason why everything takes place.
Jesus, God in bodily form, lived a pure life here on earth. We did not find him in sexual relationships with women, flirting with them, and trying to see how far He could go before sinning. You might answer that those are not things to consider about Jesus. No, they are, for God said , 'be holy for I am holy', and that we ought to be like Him. We must live close to God as He did.

These 6 points are the basis of this engagement today too. Today is not the wedding day.

We as men ought to hear God's voice whom we must take to be our wife, but we have a holy duty before God. She entrusts her to you, and you ought to see to it that you live with her in holiness and honour before God. Maybe you will be poor and there will be many material wants, but above all, see to it that God remains the head of your home and you are able to present her sanctified to God.