Matt 1:18, "Now the birth of
Jesus Christ was as follows: After His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, before they
came together, she was found with child of the Holy Spirit."
Note that they did not come together before the wedding day. In
the Greek it does not only imply that they did not have any sexual contact.
Some define sexual purity such that anything that's meant for marriage is permissible
short of actual sex. So they think that they remain pure, whereas they come together,
flirt together and do everything else meant for marriage except sleeping together. Such do
not enter marriage in purity and are pagans before God, even if they wear Western
clothing. In the sight of the Lord, even an impure thought is as a deed.
However Joseph and Mary entered marriage in purity. They did not
visit each other; they were not found in each other's company and they "did not come
together" before marriage. Neither did they have that girlfriend boyfriend
relationship which is a Western idea, like "girlfriend-boyfriend". Neither did
they come together for secret intimate talks.
They kept themselves pure till the day of marriage.
Paul writes in 2Cor 11, "For I am jealous over you with Godly
jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste
virgin to Christ."
The bride wears a pure snow white garment and a veil. The snow
white gown and the veil of purity means that she has not been touched by a man - she is a
pure virgin in the truest sense of the word.
Today's marriages, where they have relationships before the
wedding, looks very pretty on the outside but is full of bones inside, like a grave.
This purity refers to even how we live before God. Before God a
thought is a deed. You are what you think; what comes from the depths within you.
I remember how a certain Christian wife continually asked me to
pray for her unsaved husband. However her husband simply would not get saved and did not
want to have anything to do with the Gospel. One day I felt that I should go and visit
them. On arrival the man welcomed me warmly into the house, but when he called his wife to
come and see who was visiting us, she scolded him loudly saying, "Can't you see that
I'm busy?". After her husband urged her a few times to come she eventually walked
from the kitchen to the lounge where we were. She was shocked to see me and changed her
tone immediately. When I saw her again told her that she had to repent first before her
husband could come to repentance (and that I would stop praying for him and rather pray
for her to come to genuine repentance). She had the name that she was a Christian, but she
did not live accordingly. She repented and shortly after that her husband also came to the
Lord and we were the best of friends.
Spouses, if you complain about your terrible partner, first look
at your own life.
Even if you have lived in sin, if you come to the Cross Christ
will make you a brand new person and revolutionise your life.
This is what the Lord expects of you. He wants you to be pure and
Some might ask, "if I do not go out and have a relationship
then how will I get married?" They argue that if you go to the shop you first inspect
the product before buying it. However, if you're dating each other you will only see the
good side of that person (whereas, God sees the heart). You will only truly learn to know
the other person once you are married. It is well known that there is nobody as deceitful
as a man wooing a girl.
The Zulus have the tradition of paying a dowry to the bride's
family. Some are not only impure but have aborted a number of babies before getting
married. Unless you repent of that sin of murdering your own child you will not enter
We should strive for the most excellent way. There should be
nothing of "coming together", touching and flirting with each other in our
Wedding photos of Mfiki and Octavia
(for Westerners, keep in mind that the Zulu way of rejoicing is in ululation and dance.
Many traditional Zulus who were from the bridal couple's area, were dressed in the culural
way (see women's head-dress, etc)